Tuesday, December 13, 2005
2:06 am

How come relationships seem to be the root of all problems? In teenagers expecially. My problem isn't much different than anyone elses, but it poses a threat to my current relationship. Don't get me wrong here right of the bat though. I love my boyfriend very much. More than you losers out there who can't keep a marriage for more than a year. That's besides the point.

In fact..I don't even need to explain the problem, because I already have a solution. Woo..go me.
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Thursday, December 08, 2005
10:36 pm

After reading through someone's life via blogging, I actually came to look at myself. I thought about what I do, how I do things, hell..even why. I thought about my goals and resolutions. Through all that thinking, I came to a conclusion that I need to reset my goals and resolutions, find better ways of doing things, and over-all be a better person than I am now. In other words: I need to grow up.

Still being sixteen and everything, I can't grow up too much to where I can't enjoy life as a teenager, but enough to where I can be responcible and less dependant on other people. But I need to start small. For example, start doing my own laundry. Which might just come down to me not wearing as much, so I don't have much laundry to do. Still, it takes the burden off my mom and actually shows that I'm growing up and not staying two for the rest of my teenage years.

I also need to start taking better care of myself. Eating better and stuff. Pop-tarts everyday aren't the greatest things in the world, but they're good! x.x I've been thinking too much about myself and I don't know how much any of this is gonna stick. We'll just have to see. Maybe for a New Year's resolution kinda thing, I can set my goals and stuff then and try to work on it. No promises though. I really have to start to be serious. But not too serious.

Anyway, on to life other than that. It's been okay for the most part. I've been sick since the week of Thanksgiving, and it has really put a toll on me. It's made me extremely lazy and not wanting to do *anything*. Plus my nose is too stuffed up or it's too runny and I can't get rid of it because if I do, I'll get a bloody nose. Along with that, I've been coughing out unknown organs and it isn't fun. BUT other than that, everything has been peachy.

Only one more day left until school is out for pretty much three weeks for xmas break. I'm excited for that. I can burn off my cold and sleep in to whenever I want. I'm not really expecting much for xmas. This year has been really hard to try and think of what I want. Which reminds me..I haven't sent my dad my xmas list. Oh well. He'll probably send me another hoodie like he did for my birthday. Atleast it isn't beans like last year.

Our choir concert is on Monday night and we aren't even ready for it at all. We're singing this German piece called Kling Glocken Kling and we don't even have it memerized yet. That's the only big issue that I'm actually concerned about.

Trina has found means on which she can figure out whether I'm going to school or not. For the past two days she's been asking her busdriver. Big deal? Just a little. See..he hasn't been wrong and along with that, he tell you stuff. For instance, yesterday he said that I would be at school and that I'd be annoyed and someother word. Today, he was right again, and he said that I had something personal to tell Trina (which I did). It's a bit creepy if you ask me, but it's kinda interesting. Tomorrow I'm gonna ask her what he says.

Hmm...I've actually ran out of things to say now. I've said everything that I've wanted to say. So..ta-ta
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Monday, December 05, 2005
8:14 pm

You only call me when you're drunk now. We don't talk like we used to. We're more secluded from eachother. Something happened and I don't know what. You can tell me. I'm here for you to lean on. You're gone all the time. Leaving me here all by myself. You hurt me. You hurt me so much. I don't know how long this can last. I don't know how long I can stand this. Come back to me. Please come back. I love you. I don't want you gone anymore. I want you here with me. Like we use to. Exactly like we used to. Please.












I'm never loving again.
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I have a problem that I cannot explain
I have no reasons why it should have been so plain,
Have no questions but I sure have excuse
I lack the reason why I should be so confused, I know, how I feel when I'm around you,
I don't know, how I feel when I'm around you,
Around you, Left a message but it ain't a bit of use,
I have the pictures, the wild might be the deuce,
Today you called, you saw me, you explained,
Playing the show and running down the plane, I know, how I feel when I'm around you,
I don't know, how I feel when I'm around you,
I know, how I feel when I'm around you,
I don't know, how I feel when I'm around you,
Around you, I know, how I feel when I'm around you,
I don't know, how I feel when I'm around you,
I know, how I feel when I'm around you,
I don't know, how I feel when I'm around you,
Around you, Around you, Around you...

"Roulette" System Of A Down

For Kenny
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Saturday, November 12, 2005
9:58 pm

You are my everything
The one I will share everything
Knowing my soul inside out
Whilst never using it against me

Times have changed now
You grow more persistant
I grow more scared

Things aren't the same anymore
You were my everything
The one I could share everything with
Once knowing my soul inside out

I loved you
I'd bleed for you
Die for you (die)

This is a new thing I just did. Its sorta a song..but mostly my shitty poetry/rant. But yeah..
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Sunday, October 30, 2005
10:43 pm

This is a godly pic.
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Wednesday, October 26, 2005
1:20 pm

Wanna know something sad? Sure you do. I've known Jessica since I was in the 7th grade..and I'm a junior in high school now. She messaged yesterday saying happy belated birthday. I was happy because for once in her life she didn't think it was the 19th. Which it isn't. I replied back saying something like "atleast you didn't think it was the 19th..or maybe you did." She replied and said "Nope...it's the 9th? Right?" I cracked up yet I was dissapointed. For all these years she still can't get my birthday right. It's not the 19th, 9th, 28th, it's the 14th. 14th of September. I do give her credit for remembering the month. But still..I remember her birthday. It's engraved in my head. Oh well..that's whats sad.

Anyway..I didn't go to school today. Only because I didn't want to. I had a history test today that just scared the shit out of me and I'm not ready for it at all. I have still two chapters worth of homework to do and my math. ..And my sociology...god damn! I have way too much homework. I'm gonna drown in it. I'm sure I could if it was like water or something.

I have officially decided (nor am I pleased with this decision) that Chris isn't coming to my house on New Years. It's very depressing. He's making it up by maybe coming on my spring break. Which is the end of March. Also he might come to prom..which..is in May. He makes up for it.

There's nothing new really to add. My nephew is over right now reeking havoc outside with his Finding Nemo pushie thing. I'm really bored. I don't wanna finish my homework. It's too much. Way too much. I'm gonna sue the school. My case will prevail! All because I'm cool. Anyway..I have a headache and I'm going to leave this now. So..ta-ta
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
9:34 pm

Nothing to do..I'm really bored..uber bored..
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