Friday, December 31, 2004
9:14 pm
9:14 pm
A little poem for you
I hate you but I love you. You let me leave your side.You let me leave...why...how...When the day came, nothing happened. Although the mood was different and we were quieter. I know in the future we wont be together like we always said we would. Something between now and then will happen to separate us. I can feel it. Somehow it's inevitable. Like I knew that we were going to end up together. Being separated for too long...that's what is going to cause us to break apart. When we are old enough to be on our own, we wont be together. We wont talk to each other, we wont see each other. Occassionally we'll wonder what the other is doing and where they are. I know its going to happen. I feel it in my heart. I dont know what to do to not make it happen. Sacrafice our love? Don't be together anymore? If you think about it too, don't you kinda feel what I am feeling? Naturally it hurts to think about it...it seems true. As time passes, when we are on our own, we'll stop thinking about each other as much. We'll have boyfriends or girlfriends or even married. Who knows, maybe have a couple kids. Since we're too preoccupied with our lives we won't have time to think about the other. Except once, when we're in bed and we can't sleep, we think about our past. And as we do, the other's face shows up in our memories. We think to ourselves that this isnt what we planned for years. But somehow it happened anyway, against our will. We said we would grow old together and one of us would be deaf and the other blind and whack each other with our wooden canes. We said we would start a band and go on tours together and you would get tangled up in the cords and make major feedback and an embarrassment out of yourself. We said we would live with each other for the rest of our lives until our dying day. We said we might get married. We said a lot of things. But those are only words. How many are actually going to happen? 1? 2? 3? 0? Words don't mean anything until they are done. We can say a lot of things and never do them. While i'm gone, we're both going to move on with our lives. Get new lovers, new friends, ...new life without each other. When we say we love each other...is it really true? I dont know about you, but in the back of my mind...I dont think we're going to stay as one. It hurts to hear you say it. It hurts when I say it. But I do love you. From the bottom of my heart, I do love you. Truthfully, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I dont want to lose you. Ever. Atleast not in this lifetime. I love you. I want you to know that I do. I don't want to be too late.
