Wednesday, December 29, 2004
1:49 am
1:49 am
Spurt of inspiration
Hmm...maybe getting up at 1:30 in the morning just to write something isn't such a good idea. But, when I was in bed, there was something in my head that was so great, it needed to be typed. But now that I am here...the inspiration is gone.
Earlier today...err...yesterday me and my best friend in the whole world tied ends and said that we'd end our friendship. Well...I just sent her a note saying that, but I think she'll agree. You never know, she might not. But...I was thinking about it. My head is all confused now. It doesn't have a foundation anymore. That one rock...left and everything is now crumbling down to the bitter end. She was the foundation of my world, and it became dependant on her. And now that she's gone...my world doesn't know what to do. I've known her for about 5-6 years. We've had many good memories we shared together...but the box of memories that is in my head, is all going to the trash. Never going to be seen or heard from again. Never to be reviewed...but..maybe some wont float into the trash, maybe they'll stray away and land into some different box of memories. But..she's gone forever...gone...I promised myself that I wouldn't cry, as of right now, I'm doing okay. Maybe when I go back to bed and reflect on what happened...I'll cry. Cry myself to sleep. My sister said it isn't good to cry right before you sleep because it has to do with your nose and stuff, but...I don't care. I want everything the way it was before. Before I moved so many times. I want my friends back...I want my life back, but I know that's not possible. Nothing is ever possible. Once something is screwed in my life, it won't ever be fixed. Ever. Well...I just have to build my way back up again. Seems like I do that too much. Maybe I do...hmm...
